I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
