His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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