my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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