I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
