yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
