Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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