Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
