at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
