She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
