Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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