There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
