One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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