The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
