Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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