ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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