She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
