Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize