Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize