I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize