Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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