One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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