Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
