is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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