she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
