Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
