thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
