dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
