i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
