My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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