reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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