if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
