yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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