he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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