dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
