yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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