# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
