oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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