Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
