i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
