return my video game
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
