Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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