there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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