They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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