um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
