those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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