So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
