Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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