do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
