Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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