I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
