Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My vagina just clenched in fear
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
