She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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