Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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