At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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