talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
