Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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