I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
