I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
third nipple confirmed
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
