Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
