508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Houston, we have a blender
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
