that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
