what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
