I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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