i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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