She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
What happened to fro yo and sex?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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