I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
