What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
