THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
