I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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